By Ashley

Nothing shakes a person’s sense of self, trust and marriage more than infidelity.


When someone you love betrays your trust it can feel like an insurmountable hurdle.  You are constantly plagued by thoughts of the affair, the lies they told you to be with this person, the vulnerability and possible exposure of your body to STD’s, the list just goes on.  It’s hard to look at them without being constantly reminded of the deception.  But if you truly love someone unconditionally and want to make it work, how can you overcome infidelity? 



You have to understand that you will experience a wide range of emotions.  You can feel emotionally out of control, angry for missing the signs, a loss of feeling special, anger regarding your purpose in life, and a loss of stability. Embracing these feelings and exploring each of them with your partner is a step forward to reconciliation. Denying these feeling or being in a constant state of anger will only bring further separation. 



Make a decision to commit or quit the relationship. Given the volatile emotions it can be hard to decide what you want, and you might need time. But waddling in grief and constantly throwing the affair in their face can drive an even further wedge. If you choose to stay, you must remain true to that course. You can’t continue to throw the affair if their face whenever you feel upset or mad, how is that helping to build a foundation of trust?



Commit to repairing the relationship in any way possible. Rebuilding trust is the hardest thing to do besides forgives but it can be done. Letting your partner know where you are at all times, constant consistent communication, making them feel, loved, valued and special are ways of reconnecting.  Dig deep within yourself and considers what behaviors undermined the relationship and do the opposite.

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