By Ashley

So you’ve met someone. You’ve made it successfully past the awkward few first dates and have reached a level of comfortability.

 

They are officially saved in your phone as a term of endearment with hearts and kissing emoji’s. You’ve had disagreements, you’ve seen the unflattering traits, but yet you’re still together. Your friends know your partner, your mom always asks “how’s your little friend” when you speak with her. You feel they may be the one or at least, someone worth being totally committed to for the longevity. But it’s still one person whose approval of the relationship is mandatory; their feelings can potentially make or break your relationship. When and how is the appropriate time to introduce your partner to your child?

 

 

 

Patience is power, patience is not an absence of action; rather it is “timing”, it waits on the right time to act for the right principles in the right way” Fulton J. Sheen. Timing is essential; do it too soon, and you’re liable to confuse your child/children if it doesn’t work out. Wait too long and you run the risk of finding out that your partner isn’t great with kids. Kids shouldn’t be exposed to parent’s revolving door-romantic lives. Introducing them to every person you date is toxic and sends the wrong message about relationships to your children. When you initially begin dating, ask how they feel about kids, or if they ever want to have kids. If they hesitate or seem unsure then that’s a deal breaker, congratulations you’ve cut your losses early.  Dating someone for a significant period of time (6 months to 1 year) gives some security that this person will be around and is worthy of being in your child’s life. 

 

 

 

Deciding when and how to make introductions between your child and new partner can be somewhat challenging. If not done tactfully the introduction of a new partner can cause jealousy, resentment, and feelings of being replaced. Converse with your child about your partner, explain that you are dating and would like for them to meet. The first meeting should be low key, movies, bowling, dinner or anything simple. Introduce them as a friend, make light of the situation. Slip away a few times so your partner can interact with your child without you. NO PDA and no overnights. We all would like our children to share the same enthusiasm that we feel about our partners. But you should have realistic expectations regarding your child’s acceptance of your partner. They are entitled to their opinion and just because you’re in love doesn’t mean they will be. 

Share Button
Share Button

4 Responses so far.

  1. Tracey says:

    I love your closing sentence and just because the small person doesn’t feel the same way you do about the boo doesn’t necessarily mean he/she is the wrong person. And how many times have WE all loved the person, including the kid to later discover one of these things just doesn’t belong here.

    Communication is key and being open to hear…really hear what our kids are saying. You know they are really smart and have a higher sense for BS than we do.

  2. Ashley's mom says:

    Yes. I agree we as parents must not rush into introducing our kids to someone we met and feel we enjoy each others company. Because we know that could go left at any time. But give time to learning that person ourselves, the good, the bad and the ugly. Is he or she trust worthy, honest, respectful, priorities, and even cleanliness. Our children are like little sponges absorbing up everything. So once you feel he is worthy to introduce, then casually, slowly, kid friendly atmosphere, break the ice. And as Tracey said. We will see. Kids are wise and honest, and see things sometime we as adults, single adults dont want to see because we just want a mate.

  3. sade' says:

    Yessss Tracey that was perfect! Thanks so much for taking time to read it. You too mom!

Leave a Reply